Scientists: Dinosaur Mass Extinction Caused By Apathy, 6-Mile-Wide Asteroid

July 25, 2016

Just how, exactly, the dinosaurs went extinct some 65-odd million years ago has always been a topic of heated debate. More recently, a unifying theory was developed that has concluded that dinosaurs went extinct due to an apathy that led to a terrible concoction of pollution, climate change, poor infrastructure, lack of investment in renewable energy, famine, and social unrest. But one study from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is about to add another item to the list of factors that resulted in the death of dinosaurs: a 6-mile-wide asteroid.


According to scientists at the university’s dinosaur lab, there is new evidence to suggest that a 6-mile-wide asteroid is also to blame for their fate. Says head scientist Dr. Andy Everitt, PhD, “Our research indicates that a massive asteroid crashed into what is now Chicxulub, Mexico, causing immediate death and destruction to the surrounding area. The aftereffects of the blast likely contributed to the demise of other dinosaurs who were not so lucky as to die immediately from the impact.”


If this theory is verified, it would very likely change the way we think about one of the largest mass-extinction events in world history.


“Soon, people will be saying, ‘Dr. Andy, you were right. It wasn’t just a combination of pollution, climate change, poor infrastructure, lack of investment in renewable energy, famine, and social unrest that led to the demise of one of the longest-reigning species on Earth. A giant asteroid helped a little, too,’ and I’ll agree with them,” says Dr. Andy.


The university’s claims are lofty indeed, and only time will tell if they hold any merit. It’s much easier to believe what we already know without the added element of a reverse deus ex machina space rock. The evidence strongly points that the dinosaurs died out as a result of their lifestyle and an apathy to the situation they themselves caused. Unlike the asteroid, which they could have never prevented, it was their completely reversible behavior that caused them to die out. They knew what they were doing was, in fact, detrimental to their health and that of the planet, but chose to do nothing. By the time they actually started to fix things, it was too late.


If this asteroid theory is proven to be true, it would be a fairly sizable get for the dinosaurs, who likely would’ve been more than happy to ignore their own shortcomings and blame something else.

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